Pinay Punk: Beabadoobee at the Fox Pomona
Photo by Nina Schmidt
Image Description: Beabadoobee performs onstage at the Fox Pomona in front of a white backdrop and a crowd of fans below.
“Spending too much time out of California…/Won’t you call me a cab so I can finally get back?” Opening her April 17 show at the Fox Theater Pomona, indie pop artist beabadoobee, or bea for short, wasted no time grounding her LA audience in the place where she wrote her latest album, This is How Tomorrow Moves. A long ways from home, the Filipina-British singer/songwriter immediately welcomed the audience into her latest musical era with her characteristic coming-of-age sound–but this time, she returned with a little SoCal flair.
Over the sunny power chords and sliding guitar licks, she ended California with the repeated chorus: “And I know/They’ll never know/They’ll never know…” Bea kicked off the night with the confident sentiment that while she may be perceived, she isn’t actually known, highlighting the disconnect between being visible versus being seen. Throughout the rest of her performance (as well as the entirety of her discography), she went on to interrogate the tensions between her image and her identity in the context of fame, relationships, gender, race, and more.
Maintaining high energy levels throughout, the artist powered through each number as she determinedly swayed and stomped around a stage reminiscent of the background of a movie set or photoshoot. With studio lights and a wooden ladder made visible in the periphery, as well as a large sheet of white cloth hung as a backdrop, beabadoobee’s set design adopted a simultaneously meta and subversive quality. In her typical sassy, dry style, the 25 year-old musician gave a dazzling performance while also taking her audience “behind the scenes” of life in the spotlight. Packaging personal experiences in a rock/grunge aesthetic that is anything but straightforward, beabadoobee boldly asserted that femininity and vulnerability do not need to be dainty. Rather, the rawness and messiness that she captures in her guitar distortion and angsty lyricism are arguably more honest, and more accessible.
“In a way, I’m figuring it out at my own pace/Just a girl who overthinks about proportions or her waist.” Halfway through the night, beabadoobee delved deeper into her exploration of vulnerability as she transitioned into a more melancholy, stripped back number titled “Girl Song.” A potential play off of “I’m just a girl” discourse, “Girl Song” adopts a much more serious tone when addressing the various pressures and internalized misogyny that come with growing up as a young woman (specifically an eldest immigrant daughter) in a patriarchal environment. Even at 25, beabadoobee describes herself as “just a girl,” struggling with body image and internalized beauty standards that follow her (and many non-male and/or queer-identifying individuals of color) into adulthood.
While this portion of the show served as a very necessary commentary on the enduring effects of gender-based injustice, it also notably spiraled into a moment where those same pressures were directly reinforced by a member of the audience. In a series of incidents that has unfortunately become fairly common on her tours, audience members (many of whom have been men) have been known to heckle and catcall the artist during slower parts of the show, particularly during “Girl Song.” This happened at the Fox as well. As she was actively singing this vulnerable piece addressing her ongoing insecurities, a man in the theater interrupted her, yelling “you’re perfect.” This statement in itself carries implications of what is considered perfection or perfect; fem artists don’t need to meet a subjective standard of perfection and should be allowed to express their very real and valid discomforts without being put into a box. Similar instances of interruption during emotionally vulnerable songs has occurred in the past, such as when a fan threw a bra on stage during her song “Last Day on Earth” where she discusses topics like mental health during the pandemic and morality. Thus, while the majority of her show remained positive and uplifting, occasional instances of disrespectful behavior served as a disturbing reminder that the male gaze is very much present in contemporary arts and cultural spaces–including her fanbase. And unfortunately, this objectification also consistently manifests in the form of fetishization.
As a female-identifying, Filipina-British musician that is so open about mental health, sex, relationships, and grief, it is no secret that while trying to share and market her artistry, bea has had to navigate significant amounts of racialization and sexualization throughout her career.
Oftentimes, through no fault or desire of her own, bea’s image is one that has become conflated with a particular “type” for men, as well as a certain ideal for Asian women. There is a frequent misconception online that beabadoobee is “wasian,” or mixed race, reflecting not only an imposition of whiteness, but potentially even a desire or heightened value of whiteness amongst select members of her fanbase. This “politics of desirability,” or the hierarchy of existence based on preference, can be clearly seen when examining how people engage with her content and continue to center whiteness in her identity despite her outwardly stating she is fully Pinay. Beabadoobee has addressed the exoticization of her image before: “When I grew up, it was like one extreme to the other. It was Asian hate to Asian fetishization, which was really weird. And I just couldn’t find a good in-between.”
Young women of color have also posted TikTok’s about their partners/boyfriends wanting them to look like bea–a narrative pushed upon them by both white men and men of color. Imperial fascination with Asian women, specifically South and South-East Asian women, has left a colonial legacy in our social spaces today with the extreme sexualization of women and fem people. The construction of the “exotic” and ‘submissive” woman by the Spanish, British, and U.S. has commodified Filipina women for decades–from the mail-order bride industry to childcare.
However, in spite of the challenges of being a Filipina in the public eye, beabadoobee has not shied away from using her platform to embrace her identity. While many artists distance themselves from their Filipinx heritage as they become more mainstream, beabadoobee consistently talks about her culture and incorporates it into her music; projects such as the “Glue Song” music video featuring her hometown Iloilo are ripe with lots of Filipinx imagery such as jeepneys, pandesal, and giving mano to her lola (grandmother), a common way of paying respect to elders. By honoring Filipinx traditions while also sharing them with a global audience, beabadoobee demonstrates the beauty and importance of pushing for Asian representation in the music industry. And at the Fox, it appears that everyone agreed.
While she continues to be scrutinized online and in-person (often with the intense exoticization that many Asian women still struggle against), bea has carved out a platform for herself that defies the expectations of fans and critics alike. As evidenced by the enthusiastic screams of a crowd that had memorized every lyric, this push for representation and raw self-expression has certainly found an audience, and inspired an incredible fanbase. As beabadoobee jumped around the stage (followed by a throng of fans that happily moshed alongside her), it was clear to everyone in the theater that her artistry had proven one thing: rock can be both feminine and Filipina.
FEM would like to thank Goldenvoice for the opportunity to cover beabadoobee for our website.
