Day

Image by Emma Lehman

some days, I swing in love
I wake up and paint sunshine on my bedroom walls
I hold her hand
and what I feel I can’t convey
we settle into winter as sisters
and I swing in love

some days, I hang in despair
I stare into myself as the shadows creep down the wall
those days, she’s there too
and what I feel I can’t convey
we hurt together
and I hate us I hate us I hate us

I’ve gotten so used to chasing
each prism that dangles before my face
I swat at it as if I can catch the light
swallow it whole
and feel the sadness melt away
but that isn’t how it goes

us sisters, we’ve
lost touch with our own laughter
I feel it bubble in my chest
and before I know it,
I am sobbing, crinkled, on the floor
for what care have I
if my heart clamours up my throat?
to know it beats is just enough

I tried too long to linger
in the gray of morning, the blue of evening
but twilight is no time to live
and if I choose to reside in day,
the night must too be given its turn
and so, by and by, I brandish my weathered heart
and sway between love and despair
until I cannot tell the difference anymore