Missing

Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible
to reminisce on experiences I haven’t lived

Can I really walk down memory lane 
back to somewhere I’ve never been? 

Am I allowed to miss a feeling that I haven’t had
                                                   that I don’t have a name for
                                                   that I’m not even sure really exists?

Am I allowed to miss someone I’ve never met
                                                    whom I’ve never fallen in love with
                                                    who never left me?

Am I allowed to miss places that I haven’t visited
                                                that I haven’t made memories in
                                                that I never left behind?

Why do I crave to fill the empty pit in my stomach
                                         to find a piece of me that’s still missing
                                         to go back in time to stop myself before I lose it?

Why does my gut sink and my breath hitch when I see familiar eyes crinkle at the corners       
                                                                                    when I hear someone laugh in that certain way
                                                                                    when I turn in bed and it’s empty on the other side?

Why do I still feel like a stranger in the city that I’ve settled in
                                                       in the hometown that used to be my whole world
                                                       in the places that have become routine?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m allowed to miss things
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get an answer