Demoted Cardinal Blames “Feminized” Church for Catholicism’s “Man-Crisis”

In a recent interview with “The New Emangelism: Drawing Men to Jesus Christ and His Catholic Church,” Cardinal Raymond Burke claims that “radical feminism” is to blame for the unnecessary feminization of the Catholic Church and its “man-crisis.”

First of all, that is not a type – it is “The New E-man-gelism,” as in when regular, old, wimpy (or according to Burke himself, “fluffy”) evangelism doesn’t quite fulfill your testosterone-filled bravado.

As Burke explains (or rather mansplains), the radical feminist movement has lead to the feminization of the Catholic Church, which has blasphemously been followed by girls leading the altar service. “The introduction of girl servers also led many boys to abandon altar service,” Burke says. “Young boys don’t want to do things with girls. It’s just natural.”

So what is natural? An all male altar service, why of course. And an exclusively heterosexual lifestyle – which Burke asserts can be maintained by having meals with one’s own heterosexual family unit. Without this home cooking, “a boy or young man is unlikely to build proper manly identity and the manly virtues, Burke argues. Radical feminism is distorting this Norman Rockwell fantasy by driving men away from the Catholic Church and advocating for equality.

The answer? Why, Emangelization, of course, with a little something drizzled on top which the demoted Burke calls “fair discrimination” – against women, homosexuals/non-conforming, and lastly, takeout.