Missing
Sometimes I wonder if it’s possible
to reminisce on experiences I haven’t lived
Can I really walk down memory lane
back to somewhere I’ve never been?
Am I allowed to miss a feeling that I haven’t had
that I don’t have a name for
that I’m not even sure really exists?
Am I allowed to miss someone I’ve never met
whom I’ve never fallen in love with
who never left me?
Am I allowed to miss places that I haven’t visited
that I haven’t made memories in
that I never left behind?
Why do I crave to fill the empty pit in my stomach
to find a piece of me that’s still missing
to go back in time to stop myself before I lose it?
Why does my gut sink and my breath hitch when I see familiar eyes crinkle at the corners
when I hear someone laugh in that certain way
when I turn in bed and it’s empty on the other side?
Why do I still feel like a stranger in the city that I’ve settled in
in the hometown that used to be my whole world
in the places that have become routine?
Sometimes I wonder if I’m allowed to miss things
Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get an answer